Whew... what a week

I made a pact with myself that this time around I would post the hard things as well as the good things.  Looking back over the blog with just Liam, there is very little mentioned about how hard that time was... well this time I am going to document it and this week gives me a perfect starting point :)

I am not sure if Evan is going through some sort of growth spurt (people say one usually happens around 12 weeks old) or if he just had a hard week... but whew.  We survived... barely... and not without help :)

I remember Liam going through weeks were he just ate, slept and wanted to be held all the time... it was an inconvenience then and I remember it being hard to keep it all together emotionally when the only time I spent with Liam was watching him eat, sleep or scream... but this time around it is just incredibly hard.  Starting monday morning Evan just didn't want to sleep like he used to.  Not in the car, not on walks, not anywhere except in mommy's arms and even then very light sleep fraught with gas, frequent wakeups and screaming fits.  He also didn't want to stay awake to play for more than 10-20 minutes, where he used to have a nice hour playtime/awake time after feedings.  This makes being a mommy to a three year old almost impossible.  We usually try to get out and do something every morning, come home for lunch and then Liam naps while I hold Evan through a good afternoon nap... somehow surviving until Daddy gets home around 5:30.  Evan's new sleeping/crankiness made this impossible.  I left countless places this week because Evan was just screaming.  He wouldn't/couldn't fall asleep or stay asleep.

So I tried sleep sacs this week.  Sleeping in the crib.  Sleeping in the carseat. Sleeping outside.  Sleeping anywhere I could think.  Some moments were a success, most were just screaming and poor Liam watching TV or playing the iPad or wandering around the house asking for me to play with him while I am holding a screaming and/or sleeping Evan.  Tuesday, thankfully, my mom came up to take Liam to his zoo class (monday was a terrible flop... my fault that i didn't read the rules... but for those that are wondering, no siblings allowed in class :(.  We of course didn't figure this out until we were already at class trying to check in... did I mention it was pouring rain... yeah that ended up being a PJ/movie day).  So Tuesday I had my mom... thank goodness.  Wednesday my friend from work came over for playtime with her almost three year old.  Evan didn't nap the entire day up to 2 unless he was in my arms... ever tried to do anything with a 15 lb baby sleeping in your arms... it just isn't possible.  My mom took pity on me and came again on thursday... thank god!  We went to library storytime for a picnic lunch and then I got an hour to run to the second hand store to pick up some much needed things for Evan... including a new front carrier, a new carrying sling (notice a theme here) and a mobile for his crib (so it can hopefully entertain him for 10 minutes while I put Liam to bed or even brush my teeth!)  Friday we were on our own again and we needed to get to the grocery store.  I also needed a quick stop at Menards.  It just didn't work out as I wanted... Evan didn't fall asleep in the car... didn't fall asleep in the cart... instead he screamed.  Liam didn't want to walk... so picture an ongoing discussion throughout Menards about big boys walking, while trying to 'shhh' and paci a screaming Evan.  But we made it out in one piece with a steering wheel and telescope for Liam's new playset and some new plants for out front where our other plants died.  I then drove 20 minutes to put Evan asleep so we could quickly stop at a grocery store.  Evan did catnap in the car, woke up immediately when the car stopped and screamed throughout our very quick trip to the grocery store (in which I only got half the things on my list because I just couldn't stand it anymore).  At one point, a boy who looked to be about five looked up as his dad and said "that baby cries really loud".  I wanted to turn around and say "Yes, yes, he does"... but my heart just wasn't in it anymore at that point.  The rest of the day Liam watched a lot of TV and played iPad and thankfully took a nap from 2-5, which saved the last bit of my sanity.

So, all in all, I am feeling fried.  I am feeling like I a terrible mom to Liam and like I do not have a clue on how to take care of Evan.  Survival mode.  I can get through each day... somehow, however I do get through the day it will be a success.  I may not have showered.  I may not have excercised.  My house is more than likely a disaster and there may be very little to eat in my fridge.  But somehow I got through the day and so did the boys.  That about sums it up.  It was a hard week, but we got through it.  As a bonus... I have some cute sleeping Evan shots that I will post next :)